The rate at which step families are forming today is staggeringly high. With such a prevalent number of step families, or blended families, forming everyday, it is surprising that the information available for these new families is difficult to find. Being part of a blended family presents challenges that many adults do not expect, which makes success more difficult to achieve.
According to Stepfamily Solutions, “1,300 new step families are forming every day and over 50% of US families are remarried or re-coupled”. Further, they say, “50% of the 60 million children under the age of 13 are currently living with one biological parent and that parent's current partner”. With statistics like this, more attention and resources should be offered to new families in order to steer the new family unit towards success.
The Challenge of Step Parenting
There are far too many myths when it comes to step families, and this creates unrealistic expectations for everyone. For instance, the myth of the wicked step mom creates a negative connotation and can make a new stepmother feel extremely self-conscious. Blending families is simply not as easy as it might seem. Step-families are not formed effortlessly and parents must not be under the expectation that everyone involved will adjust with ease.
Often in blended families, mothers and fathers place their priorities on their biological children. Tensions can grow within the family when rules are different for each parent’s offspring. Not only will jealousy erupt between the step siblings, but the differences in rules and expectations can place a great strain on the new marriage or coupling relationship.
Being a step parent has its own challenges. Step children will test the boundaries more often with step parents. Disciplining a stepchild is difficult and parents will gravitate toward protecting their biological children. Without the proper resources and communication among family members, the statistics for failed step families will continue to grow.
Resources for Stepmothers and Stepfathers
With such a high rate of failure for step families (2 out of 3 result in failure) and the impact this has to children, it is astounding that more resources are not readily available. Stepfamily Solutions contends, “It is generally considered by researchers that couples today have a deficit of skills with which to make partnerships last”. Fortunately, many counselors and therapists understand the need for offering help to these new families.
While resources are scarce, finding solutions to common challenges for blended families is possible. Recognizing that bringing together two different families can be difficult allows stepparents to better prepare for challenging times to come. There are online resources, books and seminars that can be valuable. Step families should recognize when they need help and take advantage of the resources available to significantly improve the chances for success.
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